Thanksgiving, Homeownership and Botox: Finding the Financial Middle Ground

In high school I hated Thanksgiving.

My family dynamics were complicated—and the holiday only seemed to amplify that fact.

The whole idea of families gathering around a table to celebrate gratitude felt forced and fake — out of sync with reality.  

My distaste for Thanksgiving increased when I learned that “Thanksgiving” appeared to be a conveniently constructed narrative to promote ideals of community, that overlooked the harsh truths of genocide, land theft, and violence that Native peoples endured.

For me and I’m sure many others, Thanksgiving isn’t about honoring a sanitized narrative. 

It’s about gratitude, even as I hold space for the truth of its darker origins. 

This idea of holding space for complexity resonates far beyond Thanksgiving. 

Too often we’re presented with binary choices or frameworks that oversimplify life’s nuances. 

Many of those binary choices impact our finances.

Holding Space for Complexity

This idea of embracing complexity resonates far beyond Thanksgiving.

It’s “this” or “that,” with no room for the gray areas where most of life actually happens.

Take homeownership or real estate investing, for example. It’s often hailed as “the American Dream,” the ultimate marker of success and stability. Meanwhile, renting gets dismissed as a waste of money.

It’s not that simple.

Sure, owning a home can be a great way to build equity and create stability, but it’s not without significant risks or trade-offs.

Renting isn’t just “throwing money away” either. It offers freedom from the financial burden of repairs, greater flexibility to move when opportunities arise, and often, a lower upfront cost.

Here are some things I’m always discussing with my investing students when we discuss home ownership or real estate investing:

1. Financial Stability Beyond the Down Payment:
   Do you have enough savings to cover unexpected costs? Homeownership isn’t just about the down payment and monthly mortgage—it’s about the roof that might leak, the water heater that will eventually break, and the landscaping that needs attention. If an unexpected $5,000 expense would derail your finances, it might be worth reconsidering.

2. Market Realities:
   Are you buying in a market where home values are likely to appreciate—or one where you could risk being underwater on your mortgage if the market shifts? Timing and location matter significantly when making a purchase of this magnitude.

3. Personal Goals and Priorities:
   What’s most important to you right now? If traveling, pursuing a career opportunity, or prioritizing investments is higher on your list than owning property, renting might align better with your goals.

Neither option is inherently better. The “right” choice depends on your goals, finances, and where you are in life.

Consider Botox as another example.

For some, it’s a way to feel more confident and beautiful.

For others, it’s seen as buying into unattainable beauty standards that bombard our subconscious.

(It’s also REALLY expensive and not affordable for many people. A standard of beauty that’s only available to some complicates the matter further.)

Two things can be true at the same time.

I’ve never gotten Botox—the idea of needles in my face freaks me out, and I’d rather spend my money on other things. I’m also pretty into wandering through life as organically as possible. But some of my friends get it and absolutely love how it makes them feel.

Who am I to judge?

The Middle Ground with Money

Binary thinking shows up in money conversations all.the.time.

We’re often told to save every dollar for the future or spend freely because “you can’t take it with you.”

The truth lies in finding a middle ground that aligns with your goals and values.

Spend intentionally on what brings you joy today while saving and investing for the future you want. It’s about creating a standard of living you love—both now and later.

Has finding an equilibrium that aligns with our values become the radical perspective of our time?

I believe that the most meaningful paths often exist in the space between extremes.

With Gratitude

I don’t hate Thanksgiving anymore but I do take time to acknowledge it’s complexity — the symbolism of gratitude I’m onboard with — the origin of the holiday and ignoring the atrocities committed to an entire Native population — not so much.

Whether it’s a holiday, a financial decision, or even the choice to embrace or reject societal norms, there’s room for complexity, nuance, and individuality.

I’m committed to creating my own meaning and leaning into the middle ground, where I can honor my priorities and values without feeling the need to choose sides on everything.

On some things, I will gladly choose sides.

What’s Next

No Black Friday sales here—I’m focused on creating brand-new beginner investing materials and courses for 2025. If you want to learn how to build wealth and enjoy your life, stay tuned. Be sure to join the waitlist here.

With Gratitude,

Tess